Mondo Vampire Glossary

I tend to use the same lingo over and over, so rather than explain those terms and phrases each and every time, I thought it would make sense to create a glossary. I'll doubtless be adding to it as time goes on.

Bad Goth Depiction Syndrome - when a writer makes references to Goth culture without "getting it." These "Goth" characters will usually be comedy relief poseurs or willing vampire bait, or depicted listening to radio hard rock bands that the author thinks are "edgy." The end result is clueless and/or patronizing towards a community that the author didn't bother to research.

Brütal - me being completely blunt, or honestly expressing my opinion, depending on how you look at it.

The Cape and Fangs Crowd (or Society) - an affectionate nickname I use for fans and writers of "old-school" vampire entertainment. The Cape and Fangs Crowd typically love vampire stuff that dates back to the 1970's, and is so-named for the standard "outfit" that vampires were depicted with on book covers in those days. In case you hadn't noticed, I am a proud member of the Cape and Fangs Crowd.

Full speed ahead - a phrase I use when I fully support a particular direction.

"I don't like vampires" - a frequently heard proclamation by horror writers, who, when asked, will readily admit to liking Black Sunday, Cronos, Dracula, From Dusk Till Dawn, Hammer horror movies, I Am Legend, Let The Right One In, The Light At The End, Live Girls, Near Dark, Necroscope, The Night Stalker, Nosferatu, Salem's Lot, They Thirst, 30 Days Of Night, Tomb of Dracula, The Traveling Vampire Show, and Universal monster movies. But they don't like vampires - just so we're clear on that.

Non-alcoholic beer - the Twilight "saga."

Seattle Mafia/Mob - the frankly awesome bunch of writers who live up in the Pacific Northwestern United States.

Sherrilyn Kenyon fanfiction - every series about a Dark Brotherhood of Conflicted Bad Boys that mysteriously followed in the wake of Sherrilyn Kenyon's success. I avoid these books like the plague. I already like Sherrilyn Kenyon...what use do I have for Sherrilyn Kenyon, Jr.?

The Standard Disclaimer - I know and socialize with the author, artist, or other creator whose work is being discussed.

Straight no-chaser horror - what most people think of when they think of the horror genre. Stephen King's early works are the most popular examples of straight no-chaser horror.

$3.95 horror novel (or the Zebra horror novel) - a go-for-broke, paperback original horror novel that has no lofty ambitions; the extreme end of "straight no-chaser horror" novels. This term comes from the price found on many novels published (often by Zebra) during the late '80's/early '90's horror boom. While paperback novels have doubled in price since then, the aesthetic lives on; Bryan Smith is the current king of the $3.95 horror novel. Credit goes to Rev. Bob for coining the "$3.95 horror novel" phrase.

Trenchcoat Ninja (or Wolverine MacLeod)- a trenchcoated thug - complete with stubble, swords, and paint-by-numbers "attitude" - who also happens to be a vampire (or some other supernatural being). Trenchcoat Ninjas come off like an unasked-for cross between Wolverine, Highlander, and a ninja. Oh yeah, and a vampire, too. This character type is beloved by unimaginative romance writers and role-playing gamers alike, despite being every bit as hoary a cliché as the Count with an opera cape and funky accent.

True 2 Da Game - describes a romance author who has a vested interest in vampires, werewolves, and the supernatural beyond what currently sells in the marketplace. These authors are able to have great conversations about non-romantic supernatural fiction.